take my heart, but please don't break it.

it's right there, what i've wanted for a long time...
and i'm terrified.
but i'm gonna go with it.
just let things happen.
and i wont let it hurt me this time.

lucero last night was so good.
i absolutely love cristina.
i do not love crazy drunk bros!
or guys with creepy, pervy like hair.

i'm really excited for the superbowl.
i'm making cupcakes for the party i'm going to!

i have become so confident with myself, i love it.
i feel like i'm able to express myself better than i have ever in my life.
i have no enemies, that i know of, at the moment.
everything is good everywhere.
and i plan on keeping it that way!

i'm probably going to new york for my spring break.
my aunt and my mom want me to give it a trial session before i decide if that's where i want to move. ahhh, i already know i do!

don't try to fight the feeling

money from school finally came!
it's insane how much happier money can make me.
i bought myself a new laptop! it's tiny and adorably.
i can't wait to take myself shopping.

i've been surrounding myself with people that make me happy.
i never realized how much your surroundings make a difference in your happiness, until now.

shawna and i took a little trip to GA!
got to see some friends of mine and carsonnnn. :]
i had fun. i love shawna so much.
that was the first time in a while we got to spend a lot of time together.
it ruled.

i have a lot of plans coming up.
i've also been enjoying school!

i'd like to give an A+ to my life right now.

buttercup.

i have these images in my head of my dream man.
the way he looks, the way he treats me, the way we are together.
and i'm afraid that if i don't come across this dream guy, i can't be with anyone.
i think that's why i've been distancing myself from guys that are interested.
because i have it in my head a specific type of guy i want.
there's one boy that keeps me interested.
but it's a difficult situation for a few reasons.
who knows, maybe my dream guy will come along soon.

i've started school!
i really, really have every intention of making this count.
how will i ever make it out if i cant make it in school?
so thats why i'm going to put everything into it and fully focus.

i want to be more active and outdoorsey this summer.
picnics, camping, hiking, swimming, road trips.
everything. i want to do it!

i'm going to start making everything i do worth it.

summer summer summertime!

i am so ready for the summer.
i want BBQ's and swimming with friends.
more crazy sweaty shows at the coup!
vacations!
i'm soooo ready for it.

on another note,
do you ever feel like nobody is ever good enough for you?
like, for a relationship.
it's not that i think i'm way too amazing, i just feel like nobody is worth spending my life with.
maybe one day i'll come across that person.
but i just honestly feel like i'm gonna be juggling boys forever.
because i have such high expectations of what i want "the one" to be like.
i have an image of him in my head.
what he looks like and how he treats me.
and lately i've felt like if it's not this exact guy i have imagined in my head, then i don't want anyone.
hopefully i grow out of that.
who knows.

get it girl!

there are lots of things i want to accomplish.

and i am actually putting forth the effort to accomplish these things.

i want to be more involved in music and fashion.

so, as soon as i get money back from school i am buying an acoustic guitar!

i played a little bit with erica the other night and it was awesome.

i want to eventually be able to play acoustic night at the coup!

as for the fashion, i want to start being more creative and make some of my own stuff!

so, my grandma is giving me her sewing machine!!

i am so excited. these things that i've been dreaming about doing are actually going to happen.

it just makes me feel like i'm one step closer to accomplishing my goals.

also, my aunt just moved to NYC.

i was talking to my mom about maybe going to live with her for a bit and go to fashion school there.

my mom said we need to sit down and discuss it more seriously.

i really want this. i want to get closer to my dreams!

hopefully i can work something up.

fingers crossed!

oh yea, i really want boots like these!

i could dress them up really cute.

love em!

jonesin' for the west coast.

i always, always, always feel like this is not the place for me.
i also don't feel like being here any longer will help me accomplish my dreams and goals.
how do you escape, when you have so much that you can't leave behind?
money rules the world and it's driving me insane.
i'm doing a lot of research and focusing more on actually getting out of here and doing the things i want.
my body is aching for something new.
california is my goal.
it's something i've wanted for so long, so long that i don't think i'll ever give it up.
i'll make it out of here and do big things.
now is the time for me to be more serious and make this happen.