"so i creep, yeaaaa"

i've never really believed much in horoscopes,
but my horoscope on twitter has been freaking me out lately.
it always fits perfectly into how i feel and what's going on.
weird!
here's mine for today.
HOROSCOPE

yesterday i was late to work.
throwing up my guts is not fun.

i'm going shopping in nashville with blake today.
except i'm not really shopping, because i'm fucking broke.
it sucks so bad.
i'm like falling back into debt.
i need a 2nd job.
someone help!!

i need more dance parties very soon please.

"pimp if you want me you can find me in the..."

12th and porter last night was so much fun.
being sweaty and dancing with all my nashville friends ruled.
the d.j played some really good mixes!
including PYT which i was super stoked on.

went to crofton before nashville.
watched mr. bill race.
rode on the 4wheeler with blake.
it made me feel redneck, it was awesome.
blake's going to teach me and ryann to ride!
well, when ryann is old enough.
she's gonna tear ass on that track!
lauren and bryson are learning to ride too.
we're gonna be one huge ridin' family!

show tonight at the coup!
come out, come out!

"aint too many can bang with us"

yesterday ended a lot better than it began.
i finally stopped having crying episodes.

i realized i wasn't ready for dating.
i just need to have some fun, i do not want anything serious.
i want to party and be free.
the coup last night was so perfect.

i met cristinas man.
i approve 100%.
she's so happy, i love it.

blake and i are going to get RIP MJ tattoos.
mine's gonna say:
P.Y.T
R.I.P
M.J
blake might get the same one.
hahaha.
we rule.

crofton tonight for mr. bills race.
then i might be going to nashville for a dance party at 12th and porter.
super stoked.

i feel like things are going to get better from here.
i've accepted being alone.
i'm going to party like i've never partied before.

p.s. HIT ME UP AND WE WILL PARTY!

"they call her love"

my emotions are completely out of wack.
one minute i'm insanely happy and free and loving life.
then the next i'm sitting on my couch crying over a damn we the kings music video!
fml.
now i'm watching that parachute music video.
i just need a beauitful boy to serenade me.
one that does sweet things for me.
and keeps butterflies in my stomach constantly.

thoughts of moving away are coming back.
they'll never fully dissappear.
i'm not meant for this place.
i know i have the potential to be so much more.
but stuck in this town, it'll never happen.

p.s. FUCK YOU EMOTIONS
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

GALBRAITH

i was researching my family coat of arms and i think it's pretty interesting.
our family motto is:
Ab Obice Suavior.
which translates to:
Stronger When Opposed.

i think it suits me perfectly.
i'll prolly get a typical script tattoo of it.
but i'm thinking about incorportating the actualy coat of arms as well.
we'll see!

to see the coat of arms, CLICK!

yes please!

if anyone wants to buy me this shirt, i'm totally ok with that!
CLICK HERE TO SEE PRICE

i'm getting my AC fixed tomorrow!!
then i'm going on a date!!
double whammy!
i'm sure something will go wrong, nothing can ever be that great all in one day.
hahah. oops, i forgot, positive thoughts!

my blakey poo is here!
definite plus.
we're gonna be swimmin' and drinkin' lots!
hell yes.

i had a dream last night that maggots kept coming out of my mouth.
wtf!?
anyone translate dreams?
cause i'd like to know what in the world that's supposed to mean.

sick.

it just hit me.
this sudden nauseous feeling along with a chill.
i'm terrified.
i'm not ready.
i'm not over my past.
god dammit.

lets wipe the slate clean.

no more pouting.
no more heartbreak.
no more being down.
i have so much to be happy about.
i have a beautiful daughter, who's getting smarter everyday.
i have a date soon with an amazing guy.
i have the best friends anyone could ever ask for.
i have a job that i enjoy.
i'm not in jail! hahah
i just need to look at all the positive things and be happy!

on a little bit of a downer note,
i have court in the boro on 7/30.
it's going to be interesting though.
the girl definitely lied on her statement.
so we'll see how it goes!

i really want to go camping and swimming.
i'm gonna try and arrange something soon with all my friends.

july 12th, nathans band dissect the coroner is playing at the coup.
i told him i'd make a party out of it!
so all of you folks who read this need to come out and get crazy!
then july 15th is my 21st bday!
i'm gonna get crazy!!!!
you know you wanna be there.

p.s. THINK POSITIVE AND POSITIVE THINGS HAPPEN!

kate nash, you say it so perfectly.

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

lawlz

me being booked.
ha.
got hit on by lots of inmates.
i prolly should have worn pants, not shorts.

--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

and tonight...

...i'll cry myself to sleep.

i guess it's really time.
time to hide every ounce of love and feeling inside of me.

love is not a game,
i shouldn't have to feel as if i'm constantly losing.

one day prince charming will sweep me off my feet.
and he'll show me anything i've ever felt before him was bullshit.

p.s. PRINCE CHARMING, YOU CAN COME GET ME NOW.

"you're the voice i hear inside my head"

i don't care how fucking cheesy this is, it always gives me butterflies!
hahahha.
i want to have a duet with someone like this!
so sweet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BT_W3QhLWY

loooookboooook

ok, if any of you read this and are fellow lookbookers,
http://lookbook.nu/user/17334-Holly-G
holla at me!

jail bird.

i'm turning myself in tomorrow.
cristina's going with me.
they told me i wont have to sit in jail,
that they'll just book me and give me a court date.
i sure hope that's true.

cwm, you make me absolutely sick to my stomach.
stay out of my life.

my blakey poo is moving back to clarksville!
i'm stoked for him to be my best friend again.
we used to have so much fun,
you better believe we're about to set this city on fiiiire!
hahahaha.

p.s. HEY 21st BDAY, HURRY UP!

"i wanna wake up where you are"

i'm ready.
ready to wake up to that one face everymorning.
go to sleep in the same arms every night.
i want to make him the happiest man on this earth.
make him feel like he's completely worth all the love i feel for him.
it's just this feeling inside of me that i've never felt,
and i don't ever want it to dissapear.
i'm in love.

unfortunately, it's not mutual.
i'm alone.

p.s. THIS IS NOT ABOUT BRIAN FALLON, HOWEVER, I WILL MARRY HIM TOO!

new man.

yes, i am more than ready to get married and have your children.
you can sing to me and i will make you breakfast, lunch and dinner.
i will sex you so good.
please come to me soon.

i refuse to say happy fathers day to a piece of shit.
thank goodness ryann and i have my dad.
he's the only man that i will ever be able to trust 100%.
ryanns so lucky to have the two amazing grandfathers that she does.
so happy fathers day to those of you who participate in your childs life!

just when i think i'm over it and ready to let you go,
i feel the ache in my bones again.
i need you.

bitches get stitches.

bahahahaah.
stupid, i know.

i hate dumbass broads.
seriously, give up.
you're dumb, immature, and basically you don't matter.
i also hate lying, piece of shit, dudes.
you don't deserve half of the love you've ever had.
no longer will i be walked all over or used.
i'm better than you, i finally know this.
and i refuse to settle for less ever again.

p.s. I AM MORE THAN INCREDIBLE.
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

i'm baaaaack!

last night was a very good night.
first time in a while i was actually enjoying being single!
it reminded me of when the coup 1st opened and we were wild and crazy!
it was exactly what i needed.
i suppose being told by multiple people that i have the hottest legs
they've ever
seen, probably helped a lot too!
hahahah.

p.s. LOVE IS OVERRATED!

--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

"whiskey bent and hellbound"

turns out i have a warrant out in rutherford county for my crazy actions the other night.

fml.

well, i'm trying to party tonight, hot damn.

come to the coup!

i need lots of friends to keep my mind off stupid stuff.

"love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew"

if only i could pick up and run away whenever things get hard.
move somewhere, start new.
that's what i need.
my past is haunting me here in clarksville.

no matter how much dudes suck,
i know i always have my girls to count on.
they make my life way more interesting anyways!

slowly but surely i'm realizing i don't need anyone.
i just know that i'm so full of love, i could make someone so happy.
but i need to save it for someone who truely deserves it.

fuck my work for playing country music all day.
especially the slow sad bullshit.

whoever reads this and lives in clarksville,
COME TO THE COUP TONIGHT!
dead icons from lexington, ky are playing.
they're really good.
plus they're fun dudes.
come out!

"but now we'll never know"

just when i think i'm ok,
i fall apart.
i give up.
i just want to curl up in a ball and never leave my bedroom.
i always feel insecure and worthless.
my self esteem has gone completely out the window.
i'm done.

wantwantwant

why cant i be beautiful with amazing hair?!
as well as a bangin' body, which includes an awesome rack of course.
it would also be nice if i could have a good set of vocal chords.
so i could draw the boys in with my singing.
god dammit i wanna be like carrie underwood.

...

"i don't wanna' spend my life jaded
waiting to wake up one day and find
that i've let all these years go by
wasted"

i dont know what i'm doing really.
other than having a false hope.
i guess i just keep expecting it to all fall into place.
but it's not heading in that direction.
everything's telling me to run.
but i'm stuck.

"that's my girl"

i'm crazy and get myself into way too much trouble.
but hey, never a dull moment when i come around!
haha. i suppose it's time to settle down a bit.

i watched my friend jama give birth to her beautiful baby girl.
it was absolutely incredible!
i'm ready to go see her again.
babies are so amazing to me.

best friends do the craziest things together.
i'm so lucky to have the friends i do that are there for me through everything!!

"love lies in jealousy"

from here on out i'm making a pact with myself to stop lurking!!
i do nothing but drive myself insane.
so, no more.

also, something is wrong with me!
i'm always extremely exhausted.
i think i need an entire day of sleep to feel back on track.
i also need someone to come massage my back everyday,
i feel like such an old lady.

i'm eliminating people from my life.
if you cause drama and you're not bringing anything positive in my life,
you're out.
i'm tired of ridiculous bullshit for no damn reason.

shawna, kayla and i watched "he's just not that into you" last night.
at first it depressed the fuck out of me, because i just want someone to love me forever.
but then i finally realized, i'm never going to give up hope.
one day it will happen and i'll live happily ever after.
and i will not allow anyone to make me think otherwise.

p.s. EXACTLY ONE MONTH FROM TODAY I WILL BE 21!!!!!

it feels good to believe that everything he said is true.
but i can't help but think i'm being lied to.
i'm just trying to be careful with my heart.
it's in an extremely fragile state right now.
i'm just ready to be ok.

FRESH.

i have this sudden urge to throw out everything in my wardrobe and start new.
i want to purchase some basics, then build on them.
i lurk lookbook like crazy and see so many cute things.
i wish i had the money and time to dress the way i really want.

p.s. I NEED OUT OF CLARKSVILLE, NOW!

never ever.

how will i ever stop loving him, if he's one of my best friends?
it's not very often i say something like this,
but unless the one who who has my heart in his hands wants to take responsibility for it,
i want to be alone.
i can't even pretend that i feel anything for anyone else.

P.S. THIS IS NOT ABOUT CHAD, SO FUCK OFF.

"you took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart...

...then you realized you wanted what you had."

i'm to the point where i feel like i will always be second best.
to the point where i don't want to let anyone in ever again.
i should stop caring.
stop wanting.
be happy with being alone.
it's a lot harder than that though.

i'm working back at chucks furniture.
i'm glad to be back.
having money is exciting!
i feel bad for my mom though.
she keeps ryann for me while i work,
and ryann is a little terror.
anybody know of any inexpensive but trustworthy child care?!

as for that whole "i'm interested thing".
idk what i'm doing.
i'm terrified.
nervous.
unsure.
ugh.

i've found myself turning to things i told myself i wouldn't anymore.
but i thought it was helping.
really, it all has crushed me completely.
i don't want to become something i'm not.